A therapist's office is a sacred space. We, therapists, work hard to make sure that our offices feel like a personal reflection of who we are, while also providing a sense of calm and safety for our patients. I still remember walking into my office for the first time and knowing that this is a place that I could make my professional home. Each day I would walk into my office, look around, and feel a particular pride in my workspace. I would show up to my office every day, sit in my chair, and wait for my patients to arrive, and hope that I could make a difference.
My patients each had their unique ways of entering the space and making it their own. Some patients would arrive super early and read the months-old magazines that sat in the waiting room while others rushed into the office right before the session. In each case, they all found ways to settle into the space to feel safe during the therapeutic process. For some, it was the only place where they metaphorically, and for some literally, could let their hair down. As they entered my office, I often saw their bodies relax. We would spend the next 45 minutes collaborating and doing the work of therapy. Suddenly, in the middle of March, the pandemic hit, and that safe space was ripped away from us: therapist and patient.
Our homes are now our therapy space. So how do we make the most out of this change? How do we make the most out of our new therapy offices?
The first thing, and perhaps the most important, is to make sure you have a place to talk that you feel comfortable. Creating that area may take some creativity. Privacy and space is a commodity in NYC, so it may be hard to find the place that you feel the most freedom to talk. It may be a bedroom, where you can shut the door and be away from others; for some, it may be a closet. It could even be a bathroom if that is the only spot where you feel comfortable and have the most privacy. The key is to make sure it is where you feel like you can be your most authentic self.
Now that you have found a place to have your session, it is essential to get into the right mindset for therapy. Just as we each have our rituals to make the therapy office like our own, it is vital to create new routines for doing therapy at home.
I start my workday doing a quick mindfulness exercise. It may be helpful to do one before your session as well. One practice would be to sit with your feet on the ground with your eyes closed. Now, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to be present to your breathing and how your body feels as you breathe in and out. Your mind may wander, but try to bring it back to your breath without judging yourself for allowing your mind to wander.
Another thing I do is visualize a place that allows me to feel relaxed. Visualization helps calm my mind and body. For me, that place is often my office, but at other times it is a serene creek in the middle of the Catskills. You must find that space for yourself.
This brings us to the session itself. It is crucial to be open with your therapist about what it is like for you to do therapy at home. Doing therapy at home can bring up different feelings that you may not experience at your therapist's office. It may even bring up feelings of resentment for your therapist for allowing that space to be torn away from you. It is important to explore whatever comes up for you with your therapist, even if it unpleasant.
Just as you are doing your session at home, so too are your therapists. While we are all doing our best to ensure we provide a tranquil environment and minimize distractions, the realities of life may not always provide for that. It may mean that you may find out aspects of your therapists' world that you usually may not be privy to, such as hearing your therapist's kids or pets in the background. This, too, can arouse feelings, such as a new sense of closeness, or create resentment that the therapist can't keep their lives to themselves. It may also bring up feelings from the past and about your own home life. Again it is vital to the therapeutic process for you to share your experience during sessions.
Doing therapy at home also has its benefits. It allows you to show parts of yourself to your therapist that you may not be able to while in their office. Is there something in your house that you have always wanted to share with your therapist but couldn't? Now is your chance to show them. This is your opportunity to welcome your therapist into your world in a way not usually possible.
Conducting therapy at home is a new experience for all of us. The key to making it work is openness and honesty about how you feel. It is also important to remember that we are all adjusting to this new experience together and that you aren't alone in this struggle.
If you are interested in therapy, please email me at [email protected] or call me at (646) 780-0564 to schedule an appointment.
My patients each had their unique ways of entering the space and making it their own. Some patients would arrive super early and read the months-old magazines that sat in the waiting room while others rushed into the office right before the session. In each case, they all found ways to settle into the space to feel safe during the therapeutic process. For some, it was the only place where they metaphorically, and for some literally, could let their hair down. As they entered my office, I often saw their bodies relax. We would spend the next 45 minutes collaborating and doing the work of therapy. Suddenly, in the middle of March, the pandemic hit, and that safe space was ripped away from us: therapist and patient.
Our homes are now our therapy space. So how do we make the most out of this change? How do we make the most out of our new therapy offices?
The first thing, and perhaps the most important, is to make sure you have a place to talk that you feel comfortable. Creating that area may take some creativity. Privacy and space is a commodity in NYC, so it may be hard to find the place that you feel the most freedom to talk. It may be a bedroom, where you can shut the door and be away from others; for some, it may be a closet. It could even be a bathroom if that is the only spot where you feel comfortable and have the most privacy. The key is to make sure it is where you feel like you can be your most authentic self.
Now that you have found a place to have your session, it is essential to get into the right mindset for therapy. Just as we each have our rituals to make the therapy office like our own, it is vital to create new routines for doing therapy at home.
I start my workday doing a quick mindfulness exercise. It may be helpful to do one before your session as well. One practice would be to sit with your feet on the ground with your eyes closed. Now, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to be present to your breathing and how your body feels as you breathe in and out. Your mind may wander, but try to bring it back to your breath without judging yourself for allowing your mind to wander.
Another thing I do is visualize a place that allows me to feel relaxed. Visualization helps calm my mind and body. For me, that place is often my office, but at other times it is a serene creek in the middle of the Catskills. You must find that space for yourself.
This brings us to the session itself. It is crucial to be open with your therapist about what it is like for you to do therapy at home. Doing therapy at home can bring up different feelings that you may not experience at your therapist's office. It may even bring up feelings of resentment for your therapist for allowing that space to be torn away from you. It is important to explore whatever comes up for you with your therapist, even if it unpleasant.
Just as you are doing your session at home, so too are your therapists. While we are all doing our best to ensure we provide a tranquil environment and minimize distractions, the realities of life may not always provide for that. It may mean that you may find out aspects of your therapists' world that you usually may not be privy to, such as hearing your therapist's kids or pets in the background. This, too, can arouse feelings, such as a new sense of closeness, or create resentment that the therapist can't keep their lives to themselves. It may also bring up feelings from the past and about your own home life. Again it is vital to the therapeutic process for you to share your experience during sessions.
Doing therapy at home also has its benefits. It allows you to show parts of yourself to your therapist that you may not be able to while in their office. Is there something in your house that you have always wanted to share with your therapist but couldn't? Now is your chance to show them. This is your opportunity to welcome your therapist into your world in a way not usually possible.
Conducting therapy at home is a new experience for all of us. The key to making it work is openness and honesty about how you feel. It is also important to remember that we are all adjusting to this new experience together and that you aren't alone in this struggle.
If you are interested in therapy, please email me at [email protected] or call me at (646) 780-0564 to schedule an appointment.
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